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these kinds of things (ep)

by michele khazak

/
1.
sometimes, it’s a good time. sometimes, it seems there’s got to be a better time – but it’s never the right time for losing your mind, and i’d like to try and say you didn’t even say you didn’t try to tell me – but you did. and i’d like to try and say i didn’t know the way i didn’t try to tell you – but i did (you know i did). oh, it’s strange to find a multitude of ways to say exactly what and so precisely, but to still not know quite what it is. oh yeah, well, so i read a thing or two — but it’s all laughing gas, to me. and i guess i just forgot i had a something else to do – or maybe i just let it slip through. ain’t it strange the way to to know the word you call it by it’s name, out loud you say it! but you still don’t know quite what it is.
2.
i don’t believe in god, but that don’t stop me from looking. it’s not that i don’t need god, i just don’t see it that way. you said you try to be like god — well, that’s a fucked up thing to say, and i’ll never forget that you put it to me in that way – when you know my name. and i don’t believe in love, but that don’t stop me from looking. it’s not that i don’t need love, i just don’t need these dumb fucking games. you said i should try to believe in love — well, that’s a foolish thing to say, when you and i both know that you didn’t really mean it that way – but now, you know my name. it’s just a time delayed release regret, it’s not that you don’t feel bad — you just don’t feel bad yet. it’s just a time delayed release regret, it’s not that you didn’t see it — you just couldn’t see it yet.
3.
whole time 04:38
i don’t know what to do, i do not know what not to do. that’s what i’ve been telling you, this whole time. and i’m sure that anyone would, that anyone could, that everyone else should say the same. (that is of course assuming that you took the time to try to decide) but no, you’re not dreaming. you’re just caught in the current again. you will get what you want, and you will wonder. did you get what you want, and did you wonder? did you see what you want? can you stand what you’ve seen? do you wonder? but no, you’re not dreaming. you’re just caught in the current again. so don’t go doing me any more favors. you’re so sweet, and it cuts me like a knife.
4.
you don’t have to wait for me, you can go or you can stay — and so far as i can see, it don’t make much difference any which way you can — oh, you can — but you don’t know what you can. but you don’t have to wait for me, you can stay or you can go. yeah, i know just what i feel and i fear i can’t afford to let it. well first you started to like it, then you started to feel something, but then you started to need it, because it started to mean something. i could stumble my way through it, hope to wake up and find myself someplace new. i heard you say you saw right through it, but the truth’s not it what you know how to say, but in how you do — that’s how i see you. someone told you it was coming, so you were patient and you waited, but all that waiting started meaning something, and so you started to hate it again. oh you thought it would be just fine, what’s the harm just a quick check for tension on the line, but now you’re hooked. and this is no way to go about these kinds of things, this is the only way to go about these kinds of things.

about

recorded live in my living room.

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released June 12, 2011

all songs written and recorded by me. michele khazak.

album artwork by michele khazak
"i wept and i prayed"
acrylic paint on canvas

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michele khazak Seattle, Washington

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